to watch more tv. But, like, not like ‘scrollin’-through-the-guide-on-comcast-while-sitting-side-ways-in-your-recliner-and-eating-lays-baked-cheetos’ kind of tv watching. Not the ‘I’m-in-the-living-room-alone-on-the-computer-so-lemme-turn-the-tv-on-cause-it’s-super-quite-and-i-don’t-have-any-speakers’ tv watching either; I’m talkin’ watchin’ a series - a whole new series, and I watch it from beginning to end, and then watching the season marathon at the end of the run and being just as excited about it as I was from the start. I’ve noticed, ever since I started my ‘recliner-cheeto-scared-of-silence’ tv watchin, I’ve just let go of being excited about things; maybe it wasn’t me not watching tv - definitely wasn’t actually, but now a days, i just don’t care about, well, pretty much anything. I mean, I care about Kosta - I love Kosta. I care about him so much. But I mean, I just don’t hope a lot lately. I lied, I do hope. In fact probably more than anyone I know. But I’ve suppressed them, for the simple fact that I don’t believe they’ll come true. So, I vow, to watch a new, interesting, heart wrenching, heart stopping series on television very soon, so that I may hope for a better day for every Tom, Dick, Harry, and Harry’s mom that’s on tv now-a-days, worrying about God knows what; a series that’ll pull me in just as hard as they pull stunts, whether it be with their wits, their movement, their words, or their voices. And I promise to stay with it, all the way, until there’s nothing left, so that when I am old, and my dreams have yet to come true, I can be in my office at the temp agency I work for and say ” Oh yeah! I remember that show! The first season was great, but then it was shitty by the third one”.

-Awa Sal  Secka

1:47 am, E.S.T.